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I found this treasure in a slim volume authored by Elaine N. Aron. A clinical psychologist, Aron spent several years researching her topic and interviewing hundreds of people. Although the matter she addresses represents about 20 % of our population—some 50 million people—it has been strangely overlooked by society in general, even in the field of psychology. This oversight has caused a great deal of misunderstanding and no little amount of pain.

Although I’m happy to have found this book at last, I wish I could have read it years ago. I finally caught on to some of it through the "school of hard knocks," but there should be an easier way. Had I earlier understood the message of this book, my life would have been more pleasant and successful.

For the 20% of people the book primarily deals with, this is a must read. For the other 80%, it is a should read.

When I state the name of the book, I predict it will have a negative effect on virtually every one of you—even those being dealt with in the study. The title is The Highly Sensitive Person, or for short, H.S.P. How often we’ve heard the admonition, "Oh, don’t be so sensitive!" The author divides our entire society into two major groups, the "warrior-kings" and the "royal advisors." The HSPs fall into the latter category, and I will just refer to the two groups as the WKs and RAs.

To put the matter bluntly, WKs always have pretty much owned the world, and they’ve usually considered RAs badly flawed. Unfortunately, the RAs have bought into that concept, often seeing themselves as damaged goods. This book is designed to correct an improper understanding of human nature. Let’s begin by describing the basic makeup of each group.

Among the WKs we are most apt to find the test pilots, company CEOs, professional military men, ambulance drivers, sales managers, committee chairmen, many politicians, and professional athletes.

Warrior-kings tend to be bold, aggressive, frequently insensitive, self-confident, risk-taking, confrontational, often not well organized, prone to make quick decisions, and they work well in the spotlight.

Often unable to understand the sensitivity of RAs, WKs tend to see them as timid, shy, weak, or that greatest sin of all, unsociable.

Writers, historians, counselors, philosophers, teachers, scholars, judges, artists, theologians, therapists, researchers, and inventors usually fall into the RA group.

RAs tend to be are creative, insightful, passionate, caring, cautious, inward, reflective, attentive to details, visionary, wise, highly conscientious, non-confrontational, serious, and able to concentrate deeply.

Because WKs tend to dominate society, RAs find themselves marginalized. Aron put it this way:

Since I am very much a RA, I confess to probably being biased on some of the things I say. I do believe, however, that due to their basic natures, RAs understand WKs a whole lot better than WKs understand RAs.

(The book The Highly Sensitive Person has some New Age overtones, but a well-informed Christian easily can sort them out.)

Aron points out that society’s needs should be met through a proper relation between these two classes.

Now that I’ve read this book, an entirely new worldview has emerged. The August 14, 2000, issue of Newsweek told of Bobby Kennedy’s heretofore-unknown role in the Cuban Missile Crisis. Suddenly I saw just how important the topic at hand really is.

One fascinating part of the article dealt with Bobby’s family image. A lone

RA amidst a father/male sibling crew of strong WKs, Bobby was referred to as "the runt." He "lacked the jaunty, glowing air of a young Kennedy." Jacqueline Kennedy—herself no doubt a RA—observed that Bobby was the Kennedy "least like his father." She saw his inner sensitivity and his innate, though often well-concealed, sense of decency. A few weeks ago I read a book about the life of Joe Kennedy Sr. That was a man who could give any WK in the world a bad name.

Newsweek opened formerly hidden files to reveal the key position the "runt" played in the Cuban Missile Crisis. Perhaps there never will be a better example of how royal advisors are needed as a balancing factor.

Even today few people comprehend that we were within hours of entering into a war that would have annihilated 60 million Americans. High stakes. Top White House officials had been handed envelopes to be opened in case of attack. Inside were directions to landing sites from which helicopters would supposedly whisk them to a mountain cave in Virginia. At least a couple of the men bought backpacks and simple supplies for their wives and children, hoping that somehow they could run off into the woods and survive.

In the first hours of the crisis a military strike against Cuba seemed nearly inevitable. To his advisers arrayed around the long table in the Cabinet Room on the evening of Oct. 16, the president flatly declared, "We’re going to take out those missiles."

Newsweek divided those who had to make the fateful decision into the "hawks" and the "doves." They could just as well be referred to as the warrior-kings and the royal advisors. The most bellicose WK was Air Force chief of staff, Gen. Curtis LeMay, who wanted his bombers to take off immediately. RA Defense Secretary Robert McNamara is described as "the clearest mind that evening, the one that did the most to help the group weigh the consequences of precipitous reaction." Bobby is seen as having played the pivotal role.

Had there been no RAs in the decision-making group, tens of millions of Americans would have died along with more millions of Russians. And many of you reading this would never have been born.

· One might easily assume that all WKs are extroverts and all RAs are introverts, but such is not the case. For instance, about 30% of RAs are extroverted.

I have a son who is six foot two and broad shouldered. Just to glance at him you might not suspect how gentle he is with children, or how kind to the elderly. But in a group involved with music, he usually manages to get his hands on the microphone. He’s an extroverted RA.

My little old gray-haired grandmother, on the other hand, was an introverted WK. She came across to the public as rather quiet and timid. The truth was that she so heavily dominated her children that all of them suffered lifelong psychological damage.

I know of one family that had six children, three boys and three girls. All six were strong WKs. The three men totally dominated their wives, and all three women totally dominated their husbands.

· Anything as pervasive as what we’re considering has to affect marriages. The book’s author believes that there are as many males as female babies born sensitive, but men are not supposed to possess the trait ("Men Are From Mars") and women are. Both genders pay a high price for that confusion.

· The author also wonders if society needs more WKs because they die off more readily!

· We never could have won the Gulf War without our warrior-kings. They bear the brunt of the battle, and you can bet that most of the pilots who paved the way by devastating Iraqi defenses were WKs. On the other hand, consider the course of that war without the electronic wonders provided by the RAs. It would have been a long, ugly, bloody conflict, with a large number of both Iraqi and American casualties.

· WKs thrive on large noisy crowds, and often compete with each other for the spotlight. RAs, on the other hand, can handle just so much commotion and they become overloaded. They then seek peace and quiet. At a party a RA is likely to seek out another RA, so that the two of them can draw aside and talk about matters of substance. RAs prefer discussing ideas rather than other people.

· Many RAs can force themselves into a WK mode, even to being the life of the party. But it comes at too much cost in nervous energy. For a reason I won’t take time to explain, in Business College I became a temporary WK. As a result I was editor of the newspaper, editor of the yearbook, president of my fraternity, and runner-up for king. (I believe I would have been elected king had I also been involved in sports—a mandatory attribute.) Anyway, I learned that in many ways being a WK has its benefits!

· The last few years have produced a sad record of high school killings. As a result of what you’ve read here, do you see a tie in? In nearly every case the killer or killers were uptight, nerdy RAs. And usually what drove them over the brink was constant harassment by the school’s top WKs, the athletic jocks.

· Committees often have to wrestle with weighty problems that affect the entire organization. Due to their insights, RAs may well be the committee members with the ideal solution. Unfortunately, they seldom speak up, and someone more aggressive will carry the day.

· Want to be on a game show? Be a WK. I tried out in Hollywood for a couple of game shows, one of them quite cerebral. There were three barriers potential contestants had to hurdle. The first one was a general knowledge test that sent the majority of the would-be-contestants back home. I had no trouble with that challenge. The second barrier was a much more difficult test of knowledge. That narrowed the seekers down to a rather small group, and I was still involved. I feared the final barrier, and rightly so. Those in charge prodded us to see who would emote more strongly in front of the cameras. (Like scream, "Big money!") They could see I would hang on to my dignity, so I got cut.

· Most readers would probably guess that virtually all actors are WKs, but such is not the case. In fact, many of our top actors and actresses are RAs. RAs may find acting a wonderful outlet, as it permits them to emote as someone else. As is the case with many RAs, high school was a tough period for me. However, my best memories have to do with my acting experience. I had the lead in everything I went out for, and won the school’s annual "Oscar." I also played lead in a highly successful civic theater production. I could really let loose on stage, because after all I was someone else. After I became a minister preaching was much more difficult, as it was just Don Hawley in the pulpit.

This week I watched a TV biography on the great comedian Tim Conway. Due to what I’ve learned, I wasn’t surprised to find that he is by nature extremely shy and private—a true RA. I suspect that Jimmy Stewart is just as shy as he presents himself in the movies. Of course, Bette Midler is another matter! No hidden RA there, I bet.

As you can see, this matter of basic nature is rather complex, and there are infinite variations.

I’ve gone on at length because I felt that would be necessary if we’re to translate these insights into the realm of the spiritual.

This WK/RA thing got started early. I rather suspect that Cain was a WK, and Abel an RA. I’m certain that Esau was a WK, and Jacob an RA.

During his early years in Egypt Moses seems to have been a strong WK; it even led him to murder. God needed a warrior-king to take on the greatest challenge in the Old Testament, leading a rebellious and stiff-necked people through the desert. However, it was only after 40 years of mellowing that God dared turn him loose on his assignment. In fact, by the time God contacted Moses at the burning bush, the latter thought he was an RA!

Except for Jesus, no one in the NT had a greater ministry than Paul of Tarsus. He was a warrior-king among warrior-kings, demonstrating almost unbelievable courage and dedication. The fledgling church could never have prospered without such a strong WK in the vanguard. Such a powerful personage, however, might be expected to look askance at RAs.

When Paul and Barnabas teamed up in ministry they took with them the young John Mark. I have to believe that Mark was an RA, and not tough enough to suit Paul. The contention between Barnabas and Paul concerning Mark became so heated that they separated. Later, perhaps as he mellowed, Paul was reconciled with Mark.

I used to have a slight problem with what seemed to be Christ’s favoritism shown toward Peter, James, and John. Now I believe I understand. Jesus had the greatest mission ever known, and only a little over three years to complete it. He needed some strong warrior-kings to be his point men, to lead out. The assignment called for men like the outspoken Peter and the "sons of thunder."

However, in spite of their high profile, these men weren’t the only ones to contribute. Christ didn’t error by selecting dead wood. In the kingdom we will find that an RA like Thomas also had a significant role to play. It seems all but certain that he was the one who introduced Christianity to the great nation of India. We each are called to play a part, and in heaven there will be reward enough for all.

Today the Body of Christ is not going to move ahead according to God’s plan unless all members are allowed to participate in harmony with their basic personality. The WKs usually make out well, but the RAs need a bit more understanding. A few observations:

· Most of those involved in the current move of the Holy Spirit enjoy an exuberant worship service. Eventually, however, RAs feel the need for time out, to seek a quieter venue. Since WKs could go on all night, they need to be careful they don’t misjudge the RAs as lacking in devotion.

· The Holy Spirit engenders a close family relationship, and WKs are great huggers. For some RAs hugging is a bit difficult, and so they may appear to be less caring.

· A close knit church family needs to seek out RAs with special talents or gifting. A WK with a good voice, or even a modest one, will not be overlooked. Soon after joining a congregation he may contact leaders of the music department and announce, "I sing solos. Now when do I sing?" On the other hand, an RA with a beautiful singing voice may never get to share his gifting unless "discovered."

The life of Jesus was, of course, always in perfect balance. He was a highly sensitive Warrior King. We need to seek this same balance in our own individual lives. As we do, we greatly enhance the ministry of the Kingdom.